I got home late last night, but you were already asleep. You did wake in the middle of the night, and I was happy to get to pick you up and nurse you. I’m not sure if you registered that it was finally me getting you and feeding you, but you seemed comfortable and happy as I nursed you back to sleep.

Today I miss you, everything about you. I can’t wait to be home and I’m going to hold you and never let you go.

I miss watching you learn how to walk, moving your way around the house holding on to furniture or toys. I wonder how you’ve progressed this week and I’m thankful you didn’t master walking while I was away.

I miss watching your dad interact with you. He told me about how a bunch of cheese had collected in the pocket of your bib during dinner tonight, and at one point you held up the bib and tried to dump the cheese into your mouth. Your dad started laughing, which at first shocked you and caused you to stop what you were doing and look up at him, studying his face. Then he said you broke out into a huge smile. His voice was filled with such happiness and love from this story, that I instantly regretted not being able to witness this event, and his reaction to your silliness.

I miss coming home from work and hearing about your day from your nana, and learning of all of the things you two did together. Your dad said that today you had lots of fun shaking the Christmas bells while she sang ‘Jingle Bells’. I’m excited to see this performance when I get home!

I left for my work trip early this morning. I miss reaching into your crib and picking you up first thing in the morning, being the first person you see and shepherding you into wakefulness with showers of kisses and hugs, and feeling you relax into me, nestling your head into my neck as you almost fall back asleep.

Lately you’ve been sticking out your tongue and making a funny sound. Sometimes you’ll do it randomly, and sometimes you’ll mimic us when we do it. It’s pretty awesome.

I’ve been trying to figure out a way to keep your hands warm in the cold winter weather. I’ve tried too-small mittens thinking you won’t be able to get them off. I’ve tried mittens with a string connecting each of them, which goes over and behind your head so that when you get them off (which you did) they don’t get lost. I’ve tried ones that your dad swears are socks, though frankly they stay on the best of them all. So recently I bought you a snowsuit with fold over sleeves – the kind that form little build-in mittens. I thought this would finally contain your tiny fingers and keep them toasty. But this morning, about halfway through our walk, I peeked into the stroller to see one finger on each hand had broken free of the warm, fleecy confines of the snowsuit and had found their way out into the cold. It appears my solution was only about 80% effective.

It’s been a rough week for your dad; besides being sick, he got diagnosed with shingles! We were worried because neither you nor your papa have had chicken pox, something which you both can get from your dad’s shingles. But after talking to doctors (both your dad’s and yours) we felt comfortable that as long as you two don’t touch the shingles, you’ll be alright. So your dad’s been really careful this week to keep you safe, but we’ll all be glad when the rash clears up.

When your dad first found out he had shingles he was really upset and concerned about you getting chicken pox. Since it’s the holiday season, and trying to make him laugh, I promptly burst into a song about Shingle Boy, to the tune of Jingle Bells. It did make him smile!

A couple months ago you started playing peek-a-boo. The first time you did this we were in the airport checking in for our flight home from Chicago (with a really cranky airline agent, if I might add). You lifted up your blanket over your face, held it there for a few seconds, then lowered it quickly and looked at is expectedly and excitedly. In a few more seconds you raised it again, and we said, “Where’s Emma?”. You lowered it with a huge smile and a little giggle, and thus began our first of many rounds of peek-a-boo. To this day you still do it, mostly raising and lowering blankets or napkins, but sometimes doing it with something so little as a book. I love it.