We relished sleeping in our own bed, and enjoyed some snuggles with you in the morning when we all woke up. Your nana came over today to help out. She shopped for us, made us dinner, and also joined us on our first walk. We just did a quick walk around the block with the dogs, but it was so nice to get out.

After five days in the hospital, we were finally allowed to go home on Wednesday. Your dad and I were ready to leave the hospital, but also a bit intimidated at the idea of being home alone without all of the support at the hospital. But mostly we were excited to get you home and begin our new life with you in earnest. The process of checking out of the hospital took forever. But finally we got you into your car seat and headed home. We unpacked everything and walked you around the house, introducing you to each room. I was so excited to show you your nursery and we saved that room for last. We also introduced you to your doggy brothers, who were doubly excited because they hadn’t seen us in a few days and because they could smell you, their new sister!

We hung out with nana during the day, and that night our good friend Liz came to meet you. She brought Sofia champagne in honor of your arrival, and we had a nice chat and enjoyed the champagne.

Your dad decided to go back to work on Monday and Tuesday since I had so much support in the hospital. Your nana came and hung out and helped us on Monday and Tuesday. She’d watch you so that I could sleep and shower, and we’d talk about ideas for their house that they’re remodeling. It was a special time to have her here to support us both.

Nurses came in to check on both of us and to have me feed you every two hours all night and day. But both you and I looked great. We continued resting up Sunday morning, and Sunday afternoon everyone came back over to see you again. Grandma and Grandpa brought pizza and some beers, and we all watched the game together. I was so happy to have them here to meet you and to help us; they are so excited to be a part of your life.

Also today a nurse came in and offered to give you a sponge bath. We accepted the offer and were intrigued by the fancy contraption they had to keep you warm after you were bathed. You seemed unsure about whether you liked the bath or not, but you loved the warming bed they laid you in after. If only we could get one of those for home.

Finally in the early hours of Saturday I was given the go-ahead to push. I pushed and pushed; I felt like I was in a dream state between wakefulness and sleep. I know that I pushed for awhile, but I did not have a sense of exactly how long. After the sun rose, and I’d been pushing for about five hours, the doctor suggested that I needed to have a c-section. She said that you were stuck, and they were worried about your heartbeat which had periodically been dipping. They were also worried about my exhaustion. I was crushed. I had labored naturally for so long and I had envisioned the moment I would get to meet you, and it didn’t entail surgery. But we all agreed this was the best path forward, and soon I was headed into surgery.

It was really scary for me, and it felt like an out-of-body experience. Luckily I had your dad there beside me, and it all went very fast. When the moment came for you to be born, your father got to stand up and see you and he got to proclaim your sex. I could hear the emotion in his voice as he saw you for the first time, and he said, ‘We have a beautiful baby girl. And she is huge!’. I remember thinking that you must weigh 10+ pounds, just like your dad did when he was born. I also remember being startled because you weren’t crying. I asked why you weren’t crying and they said because you were about to sneeze. Soon you were crying and they were cleaning you off, and the next thing I knew, there you were! You were beautiful, with a full head of dark brown hair, and you were not crying but were looking around. I only got to look at you for what seemed like a few seconds, and then your dad and you left. Carrie came in to be with me while they finished the surgery, and your dad and you got spend some very special alone time together. It took awhile for me to fully recover; I was shaking really badly from the drugs and was not able to hold you for about another hour. But then I finally got to hold you and you slept on me.

After what seemed like an eternity we were transported from the recovery room to our hospital room. On the way we got to introduce you to your grandpa, grandma, Uncle Kyle, and his friend Joy. You came to meet us on a very special day – your grandma’s 70th birthday. You were the most special, perfect present for her. They were so excited to meet you and hold you, and they stayed for a bit.

But they left to enable us all to get some rest and to get to know you. I remember after everyone had left I was so excited to finally get to look at you…to look at your legs and your long toes, your beautiful face and dark hair, your wrinkly back. It was so fun to look you over and kiss you and hold you finally. I felt like that was the first time I really got to meet you. I was so happy and thankful to finally have you here with us, and to know that you are healthy.

I had contractions all night long. They were about 7-10 minutes apart. In the morning there was a ton of snow (about two feet) and your uncle and grandpa shoveled the snow. We kept timing the contractions and deciding what to do. I wanted to labor at home as long as possible, but with the bad weather I didn’t want to push it too long. Finally Jeff called the doctor and they told us to start getting ready to come to the hospital. I packed some last minute items and your dad loaded up the car. However, by mid-morning the contractions were still around 7-10 minutes apart, so we decided to just relax and watch a movie. We had our 40 week appointment scheduled for that afternoon around 2, so we decided we’d just wait and go in for that. When we went to the appointment, I was already 6 cm dilated and they told us to go check into the hospital!

From that moment on things are a blur. Although the labor was very long, it is also a hazy memory. We called the doula and my parents, and soon Fiore, one of our doulas, arrived to help us. I had wanted to labor as long as I could without any drugs, hoping for a natural birth if possible. As the night went on I found I was able to handle the pain, and I kept going without having any drugs. I remember periodically looking at the clock and being surprised at how much time had passed. Sometime that night Carrie, the other doula, arrived and Fiore left. I remember walking around the hospital, walking up and down stairs, trying to help you come out. I distinctly remember watching the clock and realizing how late it was, and realizing that you were not going to be born on Feb. 3. Your dad and I were exhausted. We had not slept since 2 am Thursday.

I woke up around 2 am with pains in my tummy. Never having been through this, I wasn’t sure if it was contractions or not. I got up and walked around and they lasted for an hour, so finally I decided to wake your dad up. I whispered to him, “The baby is coming” and he sat straight upright and announced that we needed to start timing the contractions. He was so cute and excited, yet calm at the same time. We had an app on his iPod that we used to time the contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart until 8 am, at which time we decided to get up and get ready for the hospital. But also at which time they basically stopped! I had a few contractions throughout the day, but you definitely slowed your entrance, and it was soon clear that Feb. 2 would not be your birthday. Unfortunately, we didn’t get any sleep during the day, and that night the contractions picked up again. I took a relaxing bath and thought about how we would be meeting you within a day or two.

A huge blizzard was on its way to Colorado. Your Uncle Kyle arrived tonight, and he and your grandpa stayed over.

A friend of mine is writing a daily blog about her family’s ordinary moments, the little details that make “them distinctly them” as she described it. I’ve decided to copy her idea and apply it to our life with Emma and Madeline, hopefully creating a journal of memories from our first year with each of them. I hope that this daily blog will help us consciously mark the passage of time, because I know these moments are going to speed by. I’ll also be trying to capture an image each day as well.