This morning your nana and I went to a large sale for all things baby-related. Based on all the promotion of the sale ahead of time I imagined it would be pretty big and chaotic, but I had no idea exactly what to expect. Well it really was impressive with the quantity of things for sale and people running around trying to find items. I was so thankful your nana was with me. People had brought big laundry baskets or bags to put items in, but we weren’t that well prepared. Your nana resourcefully saw a large baby tub for sale and grabbed it for us to use to hold our items. Even with that we were struggling to contain all of our finds and to move them around.

I had really hoped to find you some puzzles and toys, and beyond that wasn’t looking for anything else specific. There were a ton of clothes, but you’re pretty much set there. I did pick up a sweater and a jacket and your nana bought you a cute dress. I also got a float with a sunshade for use on our trip to Costa Rica. But our biggest score was in the toy department. We got many smaller toys and two big toys, including the ‘award-winning’ zebra, Ryan. We put about half of the toys away so that we can rotate them in and put away some of your current toys in a week or two. But you immediately got to play with Ryan, and you enjoyed crawling up on him, playing with his many features, and even pulling yourself up on him to stand. I think he’s already your buddy.

In the afternoon we went to several studios as part of Boulder’s Open Studios. It’s one of your nana’s favorite events, and she’s come out several years to attend. We had lots of fun going to people’s houses and studios to see their artwork. You slept for a little bit and were very happy the rest of the time, observing all the people and art around you. A couple of the artists expressed their pleasure that we were introducing you to art at such a young age.

Today we woke up to snow and I couldn’t have been more excited. Winter is my favorite season. Your dad mentioned that this was the first time you’d seen snow, and I corrected him by reminding him that you’ve seen snow lots this past spring. You were born in the midst of a huge snowstorm, and of course there were some storms from February through May. We’ve also taken you hiking and snowshoeing in the snow.

But, of course, you haven’t really played or experienced the snow much. I wonder what you’ll think of it this winter when we get you all bundled up and take you out to play. It’s amazing to think that you’ll be running (or walking at least) through it in just a few short months! The snowsuit that we bought last winter isn’t going to work for these occasions; it doesn’t even have holes for feet. When I bought it I didn’t think ahead to the fact that you’d be walking and ready to play in the snow. But it will be perfect for when we carry you for snowshoeing or hikes.

You are three quarters of a year old today. You are as active and happy as ever. You still prefer to army crawl your way around, but you have really picked up the pace and make great time getting wherever you want to go. You enjoy exploring the house, opening cabinets and drawers, crawling under things, and playing with doors (moving them back and forth). You’re working on standing. You are still a really good sleeper at night, a great eater and an open-minded consumer of new foods. You smile big when you see yourself in the mirror, when you see someone you love, or when we make you happy by doing something silly. When you are most happy you wiggle your arms and shake them like you just can’t contain the excitement, and you sometimes also shriek with joy. We are having so much fun with you, and we really do do anything in our power to solicit a smile or giggle.

You are getting so active that your monthly birthday pictures are getting harder and harder to capture. I still try to lie you down in the crib to catalog the moment, but each month the pictures get blurrier and blurrier as you show off your ability to move. I tried to capture you standing, since this is your newest move, but it’s hard to get a picture because you don’t stay standing for long before you tumble over into our waiting hands.

We introduced you to watermelon today. Watermelon is one of my favorite foods, and I ate lots of it while I was pregnant with you. Your dad frequently shops for food on his way home for work, and last summer he’d ask me what I wanted. I’d ask for a watermelon, and he’d always oblige, even though it meant he had to ride home from the store with a watermelon on his bike. I was excited to see what you thought of this food. It was a mess, actually, because we tried to puree it for you. Of course it just turned to liquid, so it was really hard to feed it to you. You didn’t seem to mind, though, but you did have a funny reaction. You kept blowing out of your mouth so that your lips fluttered and watermelon juice went flying. It was hilarious. Thank goodness I got a video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X13IUQu23Mc&feature=channel&list=UL).

You have become quite a mover in the bathtub, and thus, bath time has become a bit stressful for us. To date you’ve been in the little baby tub that we’ve used since you were born. But you’re way too long for it, and the little lip on the far end of the tub acts as a perfect handle for you to grab onto and pull yourself up. Baths have become a constant struggle of wrangling you to sit down, and to sit still. You keep ending up sideways in the little tub.

A couple of weeks ago the doctor suggested that we could utilize a laundry basket for baths. She said that when placed in the tub, the water can flow in and out, and it’d provide you with a contained space but still enable you to have some room to move around. We tried this twice. It was not a great success. You are so mobile and antsy and curious, and it is just so slippery, that it was just a stressful mess of you lunging for the sides and trying to pull yourself up and us constantly having to keep our hands on you to attempt to wrangle you back to a sitting position.

So we decided to just buy a bath mat and sit you up in the entire tub. The bath mat helped immensely with limiting the slippery factor, though you still spend a lot of the bath time trying to move yourself to the edge of the tub and stand up. Bathing you is an adventure and an exercise in constant vigilance. I know that in all instances we must be super vigilant while you’re in the tub, and we always are, but this is a whole other level of supervision which includes us constantly hovering over you with our hands always at the ready to catch you when you try to stand. I know many people include baths as part of the daily bedtime routines for their children. There is just absolutely no way we can do this. It is so chaotic and stressful, such a production. Right now we do it a couple of times a week, and that is plenty for us!

A friend of mine returned to work today after having been on maternity leave for a few months with her first daughter. She expressed a sentiment that reflected how I felt about returning to work. She mentioned how she was starting the first day of the rest of her life as a working mom, and her sentiments were really relatable to me.

They expressed the sort of bittersweet moment that seems to comprise a lot of motherhood. The happiness and pride that we experience when our little ones roll over the first time, or crawl across the room, while at the same time feeling a twinge of sadness for the passing of a period of calmness, of serenity in a not-yet-mobile tiny baby that will never again return. The fun and adventure of watching you eat new foods, while also feeling a loss for the waning time we spend together in the peaceful act of nursing. These moments of happy and sad, these ebbs and flows of your growing independence and in turn my pride and joy for your accomplishments, but also my longing for simpler, earlier days, are destined to repeat themselves over and over.

But as she sent a note today about joining the ranks of working mothers, I thought back over my experiences these last few months as a working mom and I tried to harness some words of wisdom or encouragement for her. I thought about my mother, and the memories I had of her while I was growing up. I remember her being home for me when I was really little, and I remember her going back to school and eventually to work, but still always being around for dinner and ice skating competitions and running me all over town for various activities. I remember feeling proud for the job that she did, proud that she was my mom. And I never felt like she was flustered, or overly burdened with working and raising a family and being a wife and taking care of a home. She seemed happy to go to work, and happy to be home. She seemed to have figured out how to balance it all.

I’m sure that it was hard for her to do it all. At the time I didn’t appreciate how difficult juggling all of those balls can be. But now that I’m a working mom, and as my friend joined me today on this adventure, I questioned today what advice I have for her. And I kept asking myself what type of woman do I want you to see me be? I want you to be proud of me, to feel that I am genuinely working very hard to make a real difference to better people’s lives. I want you to feel that I am passionate about what I do, that I have an amazing job that I’m thankful every day that I have, but that I worked very hard to get where I am. I want you to really believe that hard work can get you wherever you want to be, that women can have it all, that I love you more than anything in the world, but that I also love this job that challenges me, enables me to problem-solve and educate people and make a difference and travel the world. I want you to see that although I am busy with work, my work does not consume me or frazzle me. And when I’m home with you and your dad, you are my focus. And no matter where I am, at work or with you, you are my whole world.

Today I saw a picture on Facebook of Francesca (my cousin, Ian, and his wife, Sarah’s baby). She was sitting with a little pink soccer ball that we’d given her when she was born. She was so cute. It reminded me that you, too, had a little soccer ball that you were given from our friend, Marc. You received it right before you were born. I decided that you were probably just about the right age to start playing with it. So I dressed you up in your sporty outfit from Aunt Nancy and cousin Ali, and we had a little photo shoot. Adorable.

We took you to your first CU football game today. CU requires that even infants have paid tickets. We have season tickets, but we only have two seats. Therefore, your nana was going to watch you today while we went to the game. As we were getting ready for the game, our neighbor came over and mentioned that she could get us two tickets from a friend. We were so excited to take you to your first game, and your nana was going to join us. It took us awhile to get out of the house, so we were a little late to the game. The plan was that your dad and you would go in the game and meet up with our neighbor to get the tickets, then your dad would come give them to your nana and I so we could get in. Your dad decided to test the ‘even infants must have a ticket rule’ and handed the ticket guy only one ticket. And you guys got in!

Then, your dad walked half way around the stadium to where the neighbors were supposed to be sitting, and couldn’t find them. He couldn’t reach them on their phones, and was so frustrated and upset, thinking that we were all there but didn’t have enough tickets for us to get in. So he walked back around the field to where nana and I were waiting outside the gate, and handed us the two tickets, one of which he’d already used, thinking that we might as well try to get in since we were all there. I handed one to your nana and said ‘well, one of us won’t be able to get in’ and we just walked to the gates without a real plan. It turned out your nana had the already-used ticket, and the ticket checker could not figure out what was going on. I just walked through and stood with you and your dad, and your nana somehow was able to convince the guy to let her in. So we all went in and took our seats for your first CU game. You did pretty good, just looking around for a bit, then playing on the floor next to our feet for awhile. Around halftime you fell asleep. We left shortly thereafter since CU wasn’t doing well and so that we could get you to bed. But all in all we had fun adventures at the game.

This afternoon we were all invited to attend a party at the house of one of dad’s co-workers. The party was for everyone that your dad works with. We had lots of fun meeting new people and seeing those that we’d previously met at other events. There were lots of babies there, and it was neat to see and compare you to those that were lots younger or older. You did great at the party, falling asleep for awhile and even letting a few strangers hold you. One person even commented how much you look like me. For probably your first six months or so I literally did not hear one comment from people mentioning that you looked like me. Everyone proclaimed your likeness to your father. But over the last couple of months I’ve been hearing more and more statements that people think you look like me. I don’t think that you’ve changed much in how you look, though you’ve definitely filled out a bit and you have the cutest, round cheeks now. But apparently to others, you’re now at least partially resembling me. I don’t know who you most resemble, but I know that you are 100% adorable.

Your brother, Moguly, had surgery yesterday to remove two cysts from his face. He has a big cone around his neck that he has to wear for the next couple of weeks. We are all generally unhappy with him having to wear the cone. Moguly of course finds it awkward and uncomfortable, and the rest of us are just sick of having him ram it into our legs or hearing it scratch against the walls and furniture.

You, however, seem really enthralled and happy with the cone. You cannot get enough of it and are constantly crawling over to him and grabbing at it. Your dad proclaimed that you are definitely the only one in the family who’s happy about the cone.