We ordered you a Bob stroller awhile ago, and it arrived this week. We went and picked it up today. We didn’t order you the infant carseat adapter, so we’ve been hoping that you’d have the head strength and be big enough to use it. We put you in it tonight and you seemed so happy. We can’t wait for all the adventures we’ll have with you and the Bob.

You’ve been my trusty companion these last few months, a little sidekick that accompanied me virtually everywhere I went. At first it was different to get used to always having you in tow, but now, whenever you are not with me, I feel like something’s missing and I feel frantic for a second, like I’ve left you accidentally behind. When I’m driving and you’re not in the car, I look in the back to get a glimpse of your sweet face looking back at me, and instead I am often startled to see the movements of my arm shifting the car, reflected in the mirror. At home, I am so used to tiptoeing around when you’re asleep, that as I’ve been working at home today I keep trying to be quiet and wondering when you’re going to wake up, only to remember you’re not here.

I’ve gotten pretty used to having my little sidekick always around, and it sure does feel strange now to be without you. I realize that as time goes on our separations will unfortunately, though necessarily, grow. I will have to be at work, or go on trips, and we’ll have to spend not only hours but even days apart. And eventually, someday, you’ll go to preschool, then elementary school and playdates with friends. It’s all a part of life; being so close to each other, you so dependent on me, and then you gradually relinquishing your dependency on me. This is just the first tiny step of your life’s progression towards independence. But for now, and for awhile into the future, you’re still going to be my little sidekick most of the time, and I’m going to relish it.

Today was our second attempt at taking you to be looked after by the nanny. In order to help make it a smoother transition, I stayed with you for the morning to help you get more comfortable and confident with the nanny, the new surroundings, and your new baby friend. You did pretty good for the first couple hours, then both you and Isla seemed to be having a hard time settling down to take a nap, and you both reached meltdown stage at about the same time (which in turn triggered me to thank goodness for about the hundredth time that I did not have twins).

The nanny tried to console you both and was visibly flustered. She ended up taking Isla for a walk and I took you. Isla fell asleep and so did you. I think once we have a double stroller it will be much easier to handle you two in that situation; walking generally calms you both down.

I had to head home for some meetings and left you behind, with a message to of course call if there were any problems and I’d come right over. After the little bit of difficulties this morning I was fairly certain she’d call, but she did not. Your dad and I went to pick you up around 5 and the nanny said you did great – you took a bottle, played, and also took a great 2 hour nap. I’m so thankful you seem to be settling in. Tomorrow your dad will take you and hang out for another couple of hours to help you feel more comfortable.

We had your four-month check-up today and the doctor says you’re looking great. She described you as happy, alert, and curious, which I do think sums you up pretty well. She also proclaimed that you have your dad’s eyes; she said that they will almost certainly be brown.

The biggest surprise was finding out that you are getting tinier and longer. We knew you were skinny and tall, and I have been realizing that you’re quickly outgrowing the 0-3 month clothes, but I had no idea you were in the 90th percentile for length, while just the 10th percentile for weight. Although I do realize that these metrics are no real precursors or indicators of what size you’ll be when you’re grown, your dad and I still had some fun tonight imagining what you may become if you end up being really tall. I guessed long jumper, he said WNBA star. What do you say?

It was four months ago that I met you, and now four months to the date later I had to return to work full-time. It was bittersweet. It was nice being back in the office and seeing everyone, and being able to fully focus on work. But it sure was difficult to give you a kiss this morning and head out the door. It helped that your nana watches you on Mondays, and I knew you two would have a fun day together. You did great today, and when I came home your dad came out holding you to meet me on the sidewalk. You gave me a big smile and made it all worth it.

As we always do on your month birthdays (and sometimes in between), we had a photo shoot tonight. I put you in a cute onesie tutu outfit and you were entranced. The tulle skirt contained little flower petals and the texture and colors were all too much for you to resist. It was virtually impossible to get a shot of you still; you kept trying to get the skirt in your mouth.

We had a wonderfully relaxing morning, the kind all vacations are defined by. We slept in, walked to breakfast, I did some laps while your dad and you hung out next to the pool, then we took your furry brothers for a nice walk along the river. Then, unfortunately, it was time to head home. You were a bit fussy and hungry during the beginning of the drive, so we stopped on Vail Pass and I fed you. It’s quite a beautiful place for a meal, and now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten on top of Vail Pass!

This weekend we were in Beaver Creek, and today we decided to head over to Vail to watch some of the Teva Mountain Games.

We saw a mountain bike race and lots and lots of people and dogs, but my favorite was watching people on slacklines and the dog contest. I’ve seen people balancing on slacklines before, but today they had people who could jump and bounce and flip on them; one guy was even doing this about 20 feet above a river! We also went to watch the dog distance contest. Dogs run along a dock and dive in after a bumper, trying to get the longest jump. It was lots of fun, and you even seemed interested in it.

Then we walked around Vail, taking in the sites. We stumbled across this Volvo made of Legos (or at least covered in Legos). Very neat!

This afternoon we relaxed out by the pool. I brought down your swim diaper but you still haven’t yet gone for a dip. I want to wait until it is really hot out so that you aren’t too cold when we get you out. And we need to find some water that is shaded. Maybe this summer we’ll find the perfect spot!

You are a little wiggle worm in your crib. You roll on your side and then to your back, and you scrunch up, bending your legs to your chest, then throw them back down. All of this action usually results in you ending up in an entirely different location than where we put you down. Today and yesterday I’ve found you with your little legs sticking out of the side of the crib when I come in to pick you up from your nap. You haven’t been upset or distressed by this, just happily hanging out with your feet hanging through the slats.

You have found your thumb and become quite adept at sucking on it. You usually prefer your left thumb (leading your dad to think you may be left-handed), but you suck on both. You’ve learned to use your thumb to self-soothe when you are upset or trying to fall asleep.

You’ve also discovered your toes and you and them are in a constant battle. You’re always trying to catch them and get them into your mouth, but often they win the battle and break free before you can get them there.

Today we had a fun photo shoot and I captured some images of both of these activities, and lots of other cute shots. The blanket you were playing on was your Uncle Kyle’s when he was little.

Well, we’ve settled on doing a nanny share with you two days a week. You’ll be going to Kristen’s and Greg’s house, and hanging out with their daughter, Isla. There are two nannies actually – a mom and a daughter. The mom (Nancy) will watch you on Wednesdays and the daughter (Rachel) will watch you on Thursdays. Your nana will watch you on Mondays and Tuesdays, and your dad and I will both watch you on Fridays.

So, today we decided we’d drop you off to hang out with Nancy and Isla for a few hours, just so that Nancy could get used to both of you and so that you could slowly get used to going there. Well, after about two hours Nancy called your dad and said you were really upset and had been crying inconsolably for almost an hour. Your dad came and picked you up, then you guys picked me up from where I was getting a massage. You were asleep, and you slept for another 30 minutes while we met up with your nana and papa for dinner. When you awoke you were in a happy mood.

I am not sure why you were so upset at Kristen and Greg’s house. To date you have been a really adaptable, outgoing baby and I assumed you’d be fine with this new set-up. But your papa mentioned that it was a strange house and a strange person watching you, and of course that could be overwhelming. In fact that was your first time being left with someone other than your dad or me or your grandparents. Plus there was a strange baby there and you were offered a bottle, which you don’t often use. So given all that, I can understand how it’d be frightening for you.

I’ve been struggling with how to make this transition smoother for you. I hate knowing that you were there and so stressed out, and obviously if you continue being upset like that then we’ll have to figure something else out. But I’m hopeful that you’ll become comfortable there and even come to enjoy going there. I think it will be nice for you to have some socialization with another baby, the one-on-one time with a nanny, and for you to be able to avoid the germs of daycare. But we’re going to take this day by day and make sure that it works for you. Next week your dad and I will go and stay there with you for a few hours and see how you’re doing. Hopefully we can get you comfortable and happy there.